Ha-Ha-Ha Haaland : Pocket Players

'Be kind, be generous, be comprehensive. But most of all, be thankful'

'My full focus is on performing and getting better and to give all the fans what they want'

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Locate the ball.

Destroy the net.

Go to sleep at 8pm.

Repeat.

You might not be a 6-foot-4 Norwegian goal-scoring machine, but you can absolutely upgrade your operating system. From biohacking to hat tricks, this Pocket Players guide will help you channel your inner Haaland and adopt the ultimate elite mindset.

With over 45 quotes from the Viking himself, plus praise for the footballing legend from other sporting heroes, this Pocket Players guide includes advice for how to live like Haaland and a chance to test your Erling knowledge in a quiz.

Set yourself monumental goals and absolutely destroy them, whether that’s on the pitch or just clearing your inbox, and learn how to find your zen in the middle of the chaos. This book is a masterclass in how to cut the noise, focus on your targets, and celebrate with total style.

Stay humble.

Author: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC

Humour

Published on 1 Oct 2026 by Bloomsbury Publishing PLC.